Hormones
by xxHollowedNightmares
Summary: For reokumaurer! Sephiroth's entire world get flipped upside down and it's all because of a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed cadet that showed up at his door...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is for raffle winner reokumaurer! My apologies for the wait! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII.**

**Warning(s): Hojo is not evil in this fic! Well, not **_**as**_** evil…Hahaha! Language, implied smex and…well, you're just gonna have to read to find out the rest! ^^**

* * *

When Sephiroth received his mako shot, he felt alright, until he went into his office and tried to read his important documents, only to find that everything became blurry and he blacked out. He didn't expect the following morning to find a crying cadet standing in the doorway of his apartment with a large bag by his feet. Not knowing what to do, and still quite sleepy, he asked the cadet a question as nicely as he could.

"Who are you and what the hell are you doing at my door with your suitcase?"

Well…maybe not as nice as he wanted it to be, but it made the cadet stop crying in order to answer him.

"I-I'm pregnant and I-"

Sephiroth's eyes widened, sleep completely drained from his eyes. This was a male in front of him…right?

"Yes I'm a male."

Oh shit! He said that out loud?

"Y-yes you did and you just did it again…"

"…Oh. But that doesn't explain why you are telling me this…"

"It's _you're_ baby."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at the spiky blond blue-eyed cadet.

"Who put you up to this? It was Genesis wasn't it? The redheaded bastard…"

"Put me up to what!"

"To tell me all of this as a joke."

"I'm not joking! I'm serious! I don't even know who Genesis is! Here's the doctor's note if you don't believe me!" The crying cadet said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper and handed it to him. Sephiroth rolled his eyes before snatching the paper out of the cadet's hand and half-assed read it until he got to the part where the doctor said the boy was indeed pregnant. His eyes widened in shock and disbelief until he read where the doctor said the boy was four weeks along. He folded the paper back up with a smirk on his face and handed it back to the cadet.

"Sorry, but I'm not the one that knocked you up. It says here that you're four weeks along and I'm pretty sure I would remember if I had sex four weeks ago, which I didn't. I was on a mission."

The boy ceased his crying and stared at him as if he had five heads. He was on a mission four weeks ago…right?

"No, you weren't on a mission four weeks ago. You literally pounced on me and ripped my clothes off when I walked through your office door to try and hand you a message from my drill sergeant. After we, well you know…you've been taking me out on dates and I practically live with now since you've let me spend the night here for the past weeks! _And_ you told me yesterday to pack my stuff for me to move in with you after I come back from my doctor's appointment this morning!"

"I…did?"

"Yes you _did_! Seriously Seph are you on drugs?" the boy said with a brow raised.

"I am _not_ on drugs! How dare you even think of asking me such a thing! And don't call me 'Seph'! It's 'sir' or 'general' to you cadet!" Sephiroth yelled in embarrassment at not being able to remember anything the boy said that he did. What the hell is going on! Why couldn't he remember anything! One would think they would _definitely_ remember telling another person that they could move in with them… Sephiroth came out of his thoughts when the cadet began to cry again.

"You really don't remember…do you?"

As much as Sephiroth wanted to close the door on the crying boy that couldn't be older than sixteen, he found himself trapped in emotional clear blue eyes that demanded an answer. Sephiroth sighed.

"I'm sorry…all I remember is getting-"

Sephiroth's eyes widened in shock before he narrowed them in anger.

"Dammit! I knew something wasn't right with that mako shot!"

"What are you talking about?" the boy said in confusion.

"Come with me. I need to visit a certain doctor that knows exactly what's going on…" Sephiroth said as he grabbed the cadet's arm and led him down the hallway.

"Hey! What about my bag asshole!" The cadet shouted as he yanked his arm out of his hold and glared at him. Sephiroth glared back at the boy for calling him an asshole but let out a frustrated sigh in defeat as he walked back to his apartment, grabbed the bag on the floor before tossing it in the room, ignored the boy yelling for him not to throw his stuff down the hall, locked his apartment door, walked back towards the boy, grabbed his arm and lead them towards the elevator.

* * *

"I really don't see what the hell is so _damn_ funny Hojo…"

After Sephiroth finished telling him what happened this morning and what he could remember, he became pissed off when the scientist busted out laughing and dropped his test tube on the floor. Just his luck…the one time he goes to the bastard for help, he laughs with that hideous laugh of his.

"I'm sorry, but it's hilarious that I accidentally injected you with a hormone injection instead of a mako one! All this time I thought Hollander stole it from me and come to find out that I gave it to you instead! Isn't that funny! Hehehe!"

"No it's not funny! This cadet is pregnant and-"

Sephiroth stopped yelling when he noticed that the cadet was laughing along with Hojo. And boy had the nerve to ask _him_ if he was on drugs…

"Why are _you_ laughing when you were just crying about being pregnant not too long ago!"

Sephiroth yelled at the cadet.

"Because it was a funny mistake."

"No, it's not! How is me blacking out for four weeks and ending up making you pregnant funny! AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SEES A PROBLEM WITH THIS!" Sephiroth yelled.

"Um Seph…are you sure that you're not on drugs?" The cadet asked as he began to giggle. Sephiroth stared at the cadet before sighing.

"What was in that hormone injection Hojo?"

"I don't know." Hojo said as he threw his hands up and shrugged his shoulders. Sephiroth felt his face turn red with anger at the man standing in front of him as he vaguely heard the cadet laughing again.

"How the _fuck _do you not know?" Sephiroth grounded out, trying to keep from unleashing his anger on the idiot who just so happens to be the only person that could help them, more like _him_ on the matter since the cadet seemed to be alright with all of this and had no problems with the situation whatsoever.

"Hmm…how to put this in a way that you don't get mad… I was visiting Hollander's lab and saw something shiny and realized that it was a hormone injection since it said so on the label. I decided to take it to see what was in it and when I got back into my lab, you were already sitting in a chair complaining about me not being in the lab and that you were going to be late for work so I stuck you with the closest thing I had near by so you could shut up and leave my lab, which just so happened to be the hormone injection."

"…I should really use Masamune on you right about now…"

"What good will that do? We need a doctor to go to for check ups on the baby's development." The cadet said as he frowned at him.

"_We_…?" Sephiroth said in confusion.

"Yes 'we'. It takes two people to make a baby and there _will_ be two people to raise one. No ifs and or buts about it."

"From my perspective, I was forced into making a baby…"

"And…?"

"And I think you should go back home or to someone that will take care of you and the baby."

"Then let's go home then! I'm starving and I want you to make me pancakes!" The cadet said happily.

"What! I'm not taking care of you and I don't know how to make pancakes!"

"You did when you were _high_…"

"For the last time I was never on drugs!"

"_That's_ not what Hojo said!" The cadet giggled and Sephiroth rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I swear you and Zack are related…" Sephiroth muttered.

"Hey! I know Zack! He tells me about you all of the time!"

"Great… I don't even know you're name kid…"

"It's Cloud Strife. Do you have a last name by the way?"

"Not to my knowledge… Why?"

"Oh nothing… I just wanted to see what my last name would change to when we get married, but I'll settle with being called Mrs. Sephiroth or you can take my last name and-"

Sephiroth's eyes widened at the blond before he let out a loud and frustrated yell, which had yet to cease the blond's rant about them having a large wedding with lots and lots of pancakes since he was a huge fan of them.

_**To Be Continued… :)**_

* * *

**A/N: Poor Sephy… things are going to get worse for him…and better for Cloud! Hahaha!**

**R&R**

**-**_**KTK**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews, favorites, and alerts! I do appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer: In 1****st**** Chapter.**

**Warning(s): … :)**

* * *

"So, what are we gonna do after you make breakfast?" Cloud asked happily as Sephiroth sighed. After he calmed down in Hojo's lab, he waited outside of the lab for Cloud to come out after Hojo wanted to tell him the precautions he needed to take. As much as Cloud thought he should've stayed with him, since he made a point to yell and complain about it all the way back to the apartment, he felt as though he shouldn't since the boy would be going back to home. When he told Cloud that he should take his bag and go home when he realized the boy was getting comfortable on his couch, another argument started and somehow the boy end up making him say that he was allowed to stay with him, which made his headache return.

"Who said I was making breakfast? If you're hungry, I'll have room service bring you whatever you want." Sephiroth said as he glared at the boy that insisted on sitting in his lap on the couch.

"But… I want _you_ to cook for me… You did it everyday for the past four weeks."

"Yeah, that was while I was sleep walking. I'm awake now and I don't know how to cook. Besides, that should be _your_ job since you are the female in this…_ordeal_…"

* * *

Sephiroth grumbled as he read how long a pancake should stay in the pan before flipping it from a book he'd never seen before. Who would've thought that the blond would get so angry to slap _him_, the Demon of Wutai, because he called him a female... This was not his day…

"Seph, it's burning!"

"Dammit!" Sephiroth cursed as he flipped the pancake over and saw that it was close to being black. He turned to glare at Cloud when he heard him giggling.

"What's so funny?"

"You really don't remember how to cook. It's kinda cute…" Cloud said as he sat at the small table near the kitchen as he observed Sephiroth. Sephiroth snorted before he moved the burned pancake onto the plate with all of the other burned ones, turned off the stove, and handed the plate to Cloud with a glass of orange juice.

"Can I have butter and syrup please?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes before passing Cloud the said items and sitting down in the chair opposite of Cloud. He raised a brow as Cloud happily ate the burnt pancakes while humming. They _couldn't_ be that good…could they?

"They are Seph; you should try some if you don't believe me." Cloud said as he smiled before putting another piece of pancake into his mouth. Sephiroth frowned. He needed to learn when he was thinking out loud and when he wasn't. Deciding to try some, he grabbed Cloud's fork and broke a piece of the pancake off and put it in his mouth. His eyes widened before he jumped up and sprinted to the trash can and spit it out. That had to be the worst thing he tasted in all of his years! He didn't know what a pancake should normally taste like, but he knew it shouldn't taste like charcoal.

"Hey, you just wasted a piece of gold Sephiroth!"

"Gold! How the hell can you eat that! I highly doubt those are healthy for you to be eating!" Sephiroth said with narrowed eyes.

"But…you made them for me so, that means that they'll always be great, no matter if they're burnt or not." Cloud smiled before he returned to eating. Sephiroth was caught off guard by Cloud's statement. He could tell that he wasn't lying and he didn't know how to respond to that. The only compliments he was used to receiving was those that dealt with his fighting skills and how he handled things on the battlefield, not about something as mediocre as making food. It felt kind of nice…

"Oh…no!" Cloud said a he began panting. Sephiroth's eyes widened. Great, he's about to kill the only person that compliments him with his terrible cooking...

"No… It's not the food…it's… I need…" Cloud let out a moan as his panting increased. It was then that Sephiroth realized that Cloud was unbuttoning his jumpsuit while he was talking and lightly blushed. He couldn't be what he thinks he is…

"Seph…I need you…"

Sephiroth's eyes widened. This day couldn't get any worse…

"Seph…"

Sephiroth looked at Cloud and had to pinch his nose together to prevent himself from having a nosebleed. There Cloud was, sitting on his knees on top of the table, completely naked and stroking his erection with one hand as the other pinched his nipple as he threw his head back in a silent scream. Though Sephiroth barely knew this boy, this had to be the most _erotic_ thing he'd ever seen the boy do so far.

"Seph…I'm ready for you now…hurry!"

"Ready for me to do what?" Sephiroth wasn't thinking straight because he was too mesmerized by the sight in front of him.

"For you to give me my mako... We…need to do this every four hours every day in order for me to have enough in my system for me to be able to give birth…"

That brought Sephiroth back to reality.

"What the- every four hours! That six times in one day for 24/7! I don't have time for that and who said that we have to do this!" Sephiroth said with narrowed eyes.

"WHO GIVES A SHIT! I'M READY FOR IT NOW AND IF YOU DON'T GET OVER HERE IN FIVE SECONDS, I'LL GET YOU OVER HERE MYSELF!" Cloud yelled in retaliation.

* * *

"So… When it's time for you to have your mako insemination, your body goes into heat?"

"Mhm!"

"And…if I don't give it to you right then and there…"

"I'll force myself onto you."

"And how long is this supposed to go on for?"

"Every fourth hour of the day, until it's time for me to give birth."

"And Hojo told you this after I stepped out of the room?"

"Mhm."

"And he couldn't give you tiny bottles of mako for you to inject yourself with?"

"He figured that since your sperm was mostly mako that it would be easier just to let me get it that way. Wasn't that a smart idea?"

"Well, let's start with the facts shall we? You, Cloud Strife are sixteen-"

"I will be in a few months."

"Oh. You are fifteen, a cadet of SOLDIER, and pregnant. I, Sephiroth am 24, the general of ShinRa, and am the baby's father, who made you pregnant because of a hormone shot and has no memory of what has happened for a _month_. Not to mention a crack head scientist _wants _to encourage sex between us. Did I miss anything that would make this a _great _idea?"

"We had our first insemination on a table! I'm so excited Seph! This is going to be the best experience of our lives!" Cloud giggled s he rolled on top of Sephiroth and hugged him, accidentally knocking the plate of pancakes onto the floor. Sephiroth sighed. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad…

* * *

Sephiroth quickly changed his mind when he was sitting at his desk trying to get through his stack of documents. He barely heard the knocking at his door and it was when the door busted open that he finally looked up from his papers and saw Genesis glaring at him. Sephiroth cursed inwardly. He had completely forgotten about how the person he had frequent flings with would react to hearing that he…_somewhat_ cheated on him with a cadet… He mine as well start digging his grave now…

"Good aft-"

"Shut it Sephiroth! Where have you been! You haven't returned _any_ of my phone calls and- Whoa! You look like shit! Have you been sleeping alright? When's the last time you went to bed?" Genesis said before he went behind Sephiroth's desk to fix his hair.

"I'm fine Genesis… A lot of things have changed since the last time I saw you."

"Like…?"

"Well, apparently, I-"

A loud bang echoed throughout the room and they turned towards the door to see a growling Cloud wearing nothing but Sephiroth's button-down shirt that stopped at the middle of his thighs and slippers. Genesis stared at the boy as Sephiroth looked at the clock on his desk.

"Ah, time must've slipped me."

Genesis furrowed his brows in confusion as the boy stomped his way over to them, pushed Genesis out of the way and unbuttoned Sephiroth's pants and pulling out his cock before jumping into Sephiroth's lap and proceeded to ride him while wrapping his arms around Sephiroth's neck while moaning as Sephiroth looked completely unaffected as he started talking to Genesis while thrusting into the blond.

"Sorry about that Genesis. As I was saying, Hojo gave me a hormone injection instead of a mako one, which lasted for four weeks, and I ended up getting Cloud here pregnant, who has been pregnant now for about four months. The reason why I look so tired and worn out is because every four hours, he needs his mako insemination and will be in the state you just saw walk through the door until he gets it. Hojo figured that it would be easier just to use me as a walking needle of mako since my sperm is mostly mako… That's…hnn…why I said things have…changed!" Sephiroth explained to the gaping red-haired man before he came in side the screaming Cloud. As Cloud gasped to regain his breath while resting his head on Sephiroth's shoulder, Sephiroth stared at Genesis, waiting for the response he knew that the redhead would have.

"I…never knew you used drugs…" Genesis asked with his eyes still wide. Sephiroth narrowed his eyes when he heard the blond in his arms giggle.

"See Seph, I'm not the only one who thinks that!"

"Oh for Gaia's sake…"

Cloud laughed before lifting himself off of Sephiroth's lap and turned around to see the redhead man looking him over before resting his eyes on his swollen stomach that was showing through the snug shirt he stole from Sephiroth.

"Hey! It's rude to stare you know…" Cloud said with red cheeks as he folded his arms. Genesis shook his head before replying with narrowed eyes.

"Well, it's _rude_ to steal someone else's boyfriend!"

"We weren't-"

"Shut it Sephiroth!"

"Well, too bad for you. He was the one that jumped me when I walked through the door to hand him a message. Maybe you just weren't enough to stop him tasting _this _forbidden fruit." Cloud said with a giggle as he motioned to himself. Genesis growled in anger before smirking, a smirk that Sephiroth knew that spelled out danger.

"_I _remember you now… Weren't you the one dating Zack before he went on this long-term mission?"

"Umm…"

Sephiroth couldn't help but smirk. Well, that _explained _how he knew Zack…

"Well, well, well…aren't you a naughty cadet. You up and leave Zack behind when the opportunity to have the general appeared. You know he comes back soon, don't you?"

"No, and I could care less! And since you know so much about our relationship, you should know that he had been cheating on me a week after we started dating. Since I stopped caring about our relationship, I considered myself single, especially since I stopped having sex with him. And you're right; I did jump at the opportunity to be with the general since I think I can try to make him happy and me plus _our _baby will do a fine job at doing so and we'll have a happy, yet weird, family! So there!" Cloud said with confidence as he began walking around his office tidying up things he saw out of place. Once again, Sephiroth felt that warm feeling that he'd never felt before until he met the boy. It always happened when Cloud would compliment him on things that he did that he considered to be unimportant, when Cloud would happily welcome him home with a hug before kissing his cheek and asking him how his day was, when he found Cloud cleaning their apartment while humming to himself and when he watched and heard Cloud whisper to his stomach and rub it with a smile on his face when he thought that he was asleep. He didn't know why he was feeling this way…but he didn't mind. Sephiroth chuckled when he saw Genesis huff in anger and sit on the small sofa, angry at Cloud defeating him. When the door slammed open again, Sephiroth groaned as Genesis grinned at who it was. Cloud wasn't paying attention until the person yelled his name.

"Cloud! What are you doing here wearing that and…when did you get fat?" Zack said with confusion. Cloud stopped fixing Sephiroth's stack of papers and glared at the spiky brunette in the doorway.

"I'm not fat asshole, I'm pregnant!"

It took less than five seconds for Zack to attach himself to Cloud.

"Oh, I'm so happy! How long do we have until the little bundle is here with us?" Zack said with happiness as Sephiroth began to feel uneasy. This wasn't going to end well and for some reason, he felt as though he should hide from the brunette while he still had the chance.

"What do mean _we_?" Sephiroth heard Cloud harshly say and Genesis chuckle as he pretended to fix the buckles on his boots so that Zack wouldn't see him.

"Well, it's _mine_, isn't it?"

Sephiroth began to sweat at the borderline anger in Zack's tone. As much as he wanted Cloud not to say anything else, apparently someone in the next life wanted him to suffer as Cloud happily said what would most likely send the brunette into a rage.

"No, it's not. It's Sephiroth's!"

"…"

When Sephiroth didn't hear anything, but Genesis' laughter, he began to panic inwardly, though he'll never admit to anyone or himself. Deciding to see what was going on, Sephiroth sat up, only to get a fist in his face and hear his papers flying off of his desk, Cloud yelling for Zack to leave him alone and Genesis snorting while laughing. Sometimes, he _really_ hated being right…

_**To Be Continued…**_

* * *

**A/N: Oh man…Zack's not a happy puppy about that… XD Sorry for the semi-cliffhanger but I deemed it as appropriate because the next part I was going to type fit as a good opener for the next chapter! Forgive me! :)**

**R&R**

_**-KTK**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews, favorites and alerts! I appreciate them :)**

**Disclaimer: Same as 1****st**** Chap.**

**Warning(s): Ehh…none I don't think…**

* * *

Sephiroth continued to glare at the spiky brunette that was sitting across from him with his visible eye while trying not to wince when Cloud pressed the ice pack to his swollen eye. After he recovered from Zack's blow to his eye, he jumped across his desk and began to choke the life out of the brunette, much to Genesis and Cloud's amusement. _No one_ hits him without having _deadly _consequences. Before Zack was able to black out, Angeal opened up his door and stared at them in shock before he pried his death grip off of Zack's neck, much to Genesis' disapproval. After he calmed down and sat in his chair, he didn't know when Cloud left the room to go and get ice, but he realized when he did when he felt something cold press to his eye.

"I'm sorry… This is kinda my fault…" Cloud said as he kissed his cheek, making Zack growl in anger. Sephiroth scoffed.

"My apologies, but 'kinda' doesn't even cover the half of it! Why didn't you break up with Zack the proper way when you found out he was cheating on you! If you would've done that, I would not be sitting here with a black eye and Zack wouldn't be sitting on my sofa with handprint bruises around his neck!"

He narrowed his visible eye at Cloud when he heard him giggling.

"As far as I'm concerned, no one told Zack to cheat on me or punch you in the face and no one told you to almost choke him to death! Thank Gaia that Angeal showed up in time to pry you off of him."

"I think he could've been a few seconds late…"

Sephiroth smirked as everyone in the room gasped at what Genesis said.

"What? You're annoying as hell and you know it…" Genesis said as he turned to face Zack.

"Ouch…that really hurt Genesis…" Zack said while pouting before turning back to face Cloud.

"And when did I cheat on you?"

"I saw you with that one girl in the Slums!"

"Yeah, I was helping her sell flowers. I don't think that counts…" Zack said as he cut his eyes at Cloud.

"…It doesn't…?"

"Oh for Gaia's sake! You're honestly telling everyone here that you thought he was cheating on you because he was helping someone sell flowers! This has to be the biggest piece of bullshit that I have ever heard!" Sephiroth yelled as he pushed the blond boy out of his lap. He was beyond pissed off and tired and hearing that was making him become angry.

"Hey, be easy on him! He's pregnant you know!" Zack said as he got up to help Cloud sit where he was sitting.

"It's alright Zack…he has a right to be upset…" Cloud said quietly as he sat in between Angeal and Genesis.

"Hold on. How are you pregnant? Aren't you a male?" Angeal questioned curiously.

"Yes I am. It happened because of the hormone shot that Sephiroth was accidentally injected with. Even Hojo doesn't really understand what happened since he stole it from Hollander's lab. But don't worry! We'll be-"

"Whoa, hold up! Describe 'we'." Genesis said with a brow raised.

"Sephiroth and I of course."

"_Right_…I think that maybe you should just stay with Zack and let him help you raise the baby."

"What! Why!" Cloud said with narrowed eyes.

"Because, I've been sitting here for a couple of hours now and it's plain to see that Sephiroth is not interested in raising a kid with you."

"Yes he is! You're just trying to-"

"Has he taken you shopping for diapers, bottles, pacifiers, clothes, and all of that other shit for the baby yet?"

"No…"

"Have you two even made a separate room for the baby to sleep in?"

"No…"

"Was he even excited about the baby as Zack was before you told him that it wasn't his?"

"…"

Sephiroth chose that moment to look out of his office window to avoid seeing teary blue eyes that were looking in his direction. He knew that what Genesis was saying was true…even though a part of his mind was screaming at him to say something in Cloud's defense. He, too, thought that Cloud should go back to his ex-boyfriend since he still cares for him deeply and appeared to want a child with him. It would make it easier on the both of them. Cloud would have that other person to raise a baby with and Sephiroth could go back to his normal life before he was given the hormone shot…though he felt his heart clench in pain for some reason.

"Sephiroth, do you mind sharing your views on this situation here?" he heard Angeal ask. When he turned to face Angeal, he accidentally locked his eyes with Cloud's and instantly felt guilty. The poor boy was so close to crying that his face became splotchy and his eyes were pink and puffy. Sephiroth sighed before responding.

"…I was going to take him to that store, Babies-B-We, to go shopping-"

Sephiroth couldn't finish his sentence because of Cloud wrapping his arms tightly around his neck while repeating 'thank you' over and over and over again. He looked over at the sofa and saw one look of happiness and twin looks of disappointment. Oh well, they'll get over it… He wasn't ready to give up the blond just yet.

* * *

"Aww! Look, Seph! Wouldn't that be cute to put the baby in when we walk him around town?"

"Not for 800,000 gil it's not."

"Who cares about the price! If Cloud thinks it's best for the baby, then so be it."

Sephiroth glared at Zack as Cloud continued to examine the baby stroller on display. For the past half hour, he, Cloud, and Zack have been walking around the Babies-B-We and Sephiroth was becoming annoyed with the brunette. He knew that Zack still held some malice for him, but he rather him take it out on him with his fists, not his wallet. He has been agreeing with Cloud on every decision the blond made on clothing, toys, bathing supplies and other things that just so happened to be running over 10,000 gil. While he would argue that those things were over priced since the baby will grow out of them quickly, Zack would take Cloud's defense and Cloud would say 'Ha!' before throwing it into the cart before happily moving towards the next thing he saw. Though it was…dare he think it, _cute_ how Cloud would squeal before lifting the said item that made him excited before showing him, the blond was about to make moths come out of his wallet.

"Excuse me, but the last time_ I_ checked, _you_ aren't paying for any of this. Better yet, who invited you to join _us_?"

"I invited myself. I figured that you two could use some help with deciding what was best for the little one."

"Have you raised a child before?"

"No, but-"

"My point exactly. If you truly wanted to help Cloud pick out things for the baby, at least help him pick out things that will last it for the rest of its life for 800,000 gil instead of something that it will eventually grow too big to use."

Sephiroth inwardly smirked at the stunned brunette before turning his attention to Cloud.

"Can you please pick something that's a little bit more…_cheap_? Gil doesn't grow on trees, Cloud."

"Okay, well, how about that one?"

"Cloud, that one's 850,000 gil. It's the _opposite_ of what I just said." Sephiroth said as he rolled his eyes. Damn blond…

"Oh, right! Sorry about that! Then how about…that one!"

"It's the _exact _same one you just pointed out earlier." Sephiroth said as he furrowed his brows as he heard Zack snickering.

"But it's lower than 850,000 gil."

"Yes it is, but I told you to pick out one that's less than that _one_."

"Yeah, and I picked out the other one."

Sephiroth tightened his hold on the cart. The blond was bout to make him go insane…

"I know that, but the other one you picked out was more than the one right here!"

"Yeah, so I picked out this-"

"FOR SHIVA'S SAKE CLOUD! PICK OUT A DAMN STROLLER THAT'S LESS THAN 800,000 GIL!"

"Alright! Sheesh, you don't have to yell…"

Sephiroth sighed and closed his eyes, trying to calm his nerves.

"Alright, Seph. Is this one okay?"

Sephiroth opened his eyes and felt like having a Behemoth sit on top of him to end his misery.

"Cloud…that one is _900,000_ gil."

"Yeah and you just said to pick one that's less than 900,000 gil."

Sephiroth felt his eye twitch.

"Alright Cloud. Let's think this through _logically_ please. _If _I did say find a stroller that's less than 900,000 gil, why would you pick one that _is _900,000 gil?"

"Because you said 900,000 gil."

Sephiroth felt his anger rise, until he thought of something. Maybe Cloud was only paying attention to whatever amount he was saying…

"Cloud, find a stroller that's around 10,000 gil."

"Okay!"

Sephiroth smirked when he heard Zack stop snickering and pouted. If his plan worked, that meant he could take the expensive shit back and make Cloud choose ones at lower prices.

"Here Seph, this one should be okay, no?"

When Sephiroth turned to Cloud, he felt his smirk drop and Zack beginning to laugh. The blond idiot chose the same damn 800,000 gil stroller again.

"You know what? FINE! Zack you carry the box and let's get the fuck out of here before I kill someone!"

"But Seph, we haven't chosen the crib yet…"

Sephiroth's eyes widened in shock and horror. He'd seen how much those things cost in the ads of the newspaper and the cheapest one he saw was 875,000 gil, even though the ad said it was 50 percent off. And knowing Cloud like he was beginning to when it came to shopping, he would pick out the most expensive crib he saw. Cloud had no idea how bad he wished that he was still 'high'. Then yet again…he didn't. No telling what they would've spent all of his money on…

"Then what the hell did we choose that looks like one!"

"That's the baby's playpen!"

At least they were 100,000 gil…

"Screw the crib! He'll sleep in the playpen as well play in it or whatever it does in one…"

"No way! I planned on keeping the playpen in the living room. That way the baby can see us instead of being cooped up in his room."

"Then pick out another playpen for it to stay in the living room then."

"Oh Sephy, you're so funny!" Cloud said as he giggled and walked down the aisle where the cribs were. Sephiroth stared at the empty space where Cloud was standing at before he screamed inside of his head.

* * *

"Okay sir, your total comes to-"

"Don't say it." Sephiroth told the cashier as he pulled out his Gil Card and handed it to the teen.

"Don't worry, Seph. Since you're the general and all, I'm very sure that you'll get all that money back."

"Zack, you do know that I'm the one that can demote you back to being a cadet and make you scrub toilets for the rest of your life, right?"

"…"

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"Are you still upset?"

"No, I'm just annoyed is all."

Sephiroth snorted when he heard Cloud giggle before he slid into bed next to him.

"At least it was worth it."

"I highly doubt spending over two million gil in one store is worth it."

"We were able to get everything we needed at one place. Isn't that a plus?"

"I suppose…"

"And I'm very sure that the baby will be very happy with all of the things we got for him."

"It better be or else I'll dismiss it from my apartment."

"You can't do that! The baby won't be able to survive on its own! Not for the first 18 years of its life!"

"Cloud, don't be dramatic. You're able to survive on your own and you're how old?"

"Sixteen."

"My point exac- Wait. When did you turn sixteen?"

"About half an hour ago after the insemination."

"Oh…so today's your birthday?"

"Mhm…"

"Well then, happy birthday."

"Thanks!"

Sephiroth reached over to turn out the lamp on his bed stand before burrowing himself further into the blankets to get some sleep before Cloud woke him up for another insemination. Just when he was about to drift off into sleep, Cloud nudged him.

"What is it?" he murmured from underneath the blankets.

"Are you giving me a birthday party?" Cloud asked with excitement.

"Sure."

"Will it be here or at a restaurant? Because I would like to go out."

"Then pick…a place in the morning…."

"Can we invite Zack, Angeal, and Genesis?"

"Mhmm…"

"Is my birthday cake a giant pancake?"

"Mhm…"

"Will it have sixteen candles in it?"

"M…"

"Will everyone, including you, have a present for me?"

"…"

"Seph."

"…"

"Seph!"

"…*snore*"

"SEPH!"

A punch to his ribs quickly jolted him awake.

"Wh-What happened? Are you alright?" Sephiroth asked still half sleep and in shock.

"You fell asleep on me while I was asking you very important questions!" Cloud said as he pouted. Sephiroth cut his eyes at Cloud.

"What were you asking me?"

"Never mind! It doesn't matter now!" Cloud huffed as he threw the blankets over his head. Sephiroth stared at the hormonal blond before shaking his head. Tomorrow was going to be hell on wheels _and_ expensive…

_**To Be Continued…**_

* * *

**A/N: Hmm…I wonder what could go wrong at Cloud's sweet sixteen… XD**

**R&R**

**-**_**KTK**_


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